Good as Gold

Good as Gold
By Joseph Heller

Another comedic look at who we are. If you ever wonder where Jerry Seinfeld or Billy Crystal got their material, it must have began with Joseph Heller. This book begins in Coney Island, New York. Having lived in Manhattan and spending the day at Coney Island Beech, combining it with 10 years of Seinfeld episodes; all ring the same bell for me. In America we are a People…of every persuasion and lots of them. With a few conflicting themes through the book, Joseph Heller delves into the ethnicity factor of life in America. While the book is about the Jewish experience in America, you come to realize any readers could substitute their own ethnic origin and laugh loud and often. In my New York experience, I sent my kids to Jewish preschool as they were most prominent where I lived. I can clearly remember sitting in cafés or diners sorting out things. So I laughed even louder.

The main character Bruce Gold is a Jew in denial, a college professor at Columbia University, and an author; he is contracted to write two books. One on the Jewish experience in America. And the other book on Henry Kissenger, a man of whom he despises. To bring these noble deeds to fruition becomes a challenge, considering the demands of a strong father with an over bearing call for Jewish tradition in the family. His was a family who was anything but the personification of Jewish tradition. He lived a professor life where girls’ screwing for A’s caused him to have a separate apartment. His children saw their father only for his bank account. And to make things worse he is offered an unspecified job in Washington DC to work for a lame duck president by an old friend. It was originally put to him that he could be an “unnamed spokesman” or possibly an “unidentified official”

The offer from Washington was his escape from his family, Columbia University, and New York. His hopes were for Secretary of State, which oddly places him in the office as a successor to Henry Kissenger. His transitional strategy created situational comedy at every turn. When he gets to Washington, he learns that women screw for success there as well. Throughout the book Gold never comes to appreciate that his recognition in Washington was for writing the phrase “ that is mind boggeling”. He later wrote a piece about social values titled “We Are Not a Society or We Are Not Worth Our Salt.” The President loved it. As it turns out his value was only realized by the President’s desire to have a screen play written about his time in office.

In reading this book I would often recite lines to Janet. Often it was because she would ask what I am laughing so hard at. But rather than tell a joke off stage, I’ll set the stage through character introduction and let you laugh at the book yourself.

Bruce Gold was simply unhappy with life as he saw it in his late forties. The highest educated in his family found him the brunt of all jokes at family gatherings of which were weekly at least. You soon came to appreciate that while Bruce was academically superior, he lacked common sense to defend himself. His world off campus was not as kind to him. Ironically, his family members failed to recognize the ignorance in their own views for the sake of the genius of misunderstood words. Gold paid the price. He had grown isolated from his wife and children mostly out of lack of interest. His life with his publishers was constant rivalry amongst a band of largely unsuccessful men, when compared to their dreams. His new experience in Washington awakened him to life inside the beltway and the harsh realities of an elitist stratosphere of people.

· Bell Gold was the “good wife”. The hardest thing Bruce Gold had to deal with was getting her to notice that their marriage was over. Being aware of all his shenanigans, she simply turned a blind eye, because Jewish tradition called for such a response. In the end Jewish tradition did find its place with Bruce and Belle Gold.

· Julius Gold in my opinion was the original character base for George Castansa’s father in Seinfeld. He was loud, opinionated, condescending, spiteful, ungrateful, and most of all a proud Jew. His word was good as gold, despite his actions.

· Sid Gold was Bruce’s older brother who garnered all of their fathers favor. It does not come out till late in the book that it was Sid who financed Julius’ retirement. It was Sid who knew how to organize day-to-day life outside an institution in a traditional Jewish manor, according to Julius. However Sid was not anymore successful that anyone else, he did gain the spotlight as the brainchild of the family.

· Ralph was an old college friend that could not make a commitment to anything. He had numerous wives, fiancés, and girlfriends all at the same time. There is ample dialogue between a Gold and Ralph with only one line in the book where Ralph makes a commitment to Gold. Late in the book Ralph takes a spontaneous comment from Gold and says “that’s it, I wont steel it from you I am taking this straight to the President”. “This will get you your appointment I am sure of it”

· Andrea was born and raised in the lap of luxury and totally uninhibited sexually. She learned as a little girl to squirm a lot when sitting on a mans lap. She could always get what she wanted that way. She refined this practice as an adult. She advocated an open engagement and marriage that ironically Gold found repulsing. Her role in the books was to be engaged to Bruce Gold so that he would be associated with high society and get his Presidential appointment.

· Jews in New York were portrayed to have strong family ties. (code word for obligations) Knitted together by many, many reasons to be together. They once invented an anniversary date that was six months off just so that they could have a send off party for their intolerable father against his will who needed to warm his spirits in a retirement community in Florida. An obligation to alleviate another obligation. While the book colored a lot of family conflict mixed with rivalry, they continued to meet “religiously”. The women would argue over who’s house and who was to bring what to eat, and the men would argue over everything. The arguments were paramount to exposing the humor in our human experience with our competitive state of mind.

· Jews in Washington are portrayed to not ever have their place in politics. But then again ironically, Ralph insists there is no anti-Semitism in politics anymore. His rationale follows the lines that Kennedy is the only Catholic exception, and American born Italians could never succeed, and a line of others finds the same. Only politicians could succeed. It is Ralph’s role in the book to make sure that if you missed the situational satire, to spell it out for the reader.

· Washington is painted as an inner circle of elitist who knows they have one claim to fame and to leverage that capital for the rest of their existence. They are comfortable with the notion that they are the chosen capable ones to do all the strategic decision making for the less capable common folks. They are comfortable with taking $1,000 a day per-diem with no salary to conduct meetings about nothing with no goal in site, but to make News. They will impose every scandalous tactic to exploit another elitist, yet they all unite to maintain their supremacy over the common man.

Imagine these clashing characters and character groups in 400 plus pages of dialogue. Satiric comedy is the only way to look at it. Heller again makes you laugh at the dark side of our society and possibly yourself if you feel a part of it; likely more so if you don’t. And for the same reason few half hour sit-coms on today’s American television do not make successful hits on the big screen, his humor is usually at the expense of someone where 90 minutes of it wears you thin. This book does a good job making everyone pay. By the end of the book, the humor vested in the dialogue that gives way to reality. A reality that is not so funny. Just like big screen comedy. The saving grace in this is he does it only in the last twenty pages. Heller does pose a moral question in the same manor as Catch 22 did: “We Are Not a Society or We Are Not Worth Our Salt?” Bruce Gold answers this question when the President finally does call.

The one Yiddish word of the hundreds used in this book that sticks with me is shonda. I need to ask a Jew if I am to be complemented or insulted when I am called a shonda. Unlike New York, Cincinnati has a Jewish part of town, which I don’t get to for some reason or another.